The Valence Method Workbook

Evidence-based tools for healthy connection—clean design, practical prompts, and print-ready pages.

Start the Workbook
How to complete & save your results
  1. Pick your focus: Start with one tool (e.g., Calm Start before a date, Date Debrief after).
  2. Write short & honest: Treat each page like a 5–10 minute micro-session.
  3. Save a copy: Click Print This Page and choose Save as PDF.
  4. Review weekly: Revisit highlights and choose one tiny experiment for the week.
  5. Privacy: Store PDFs securely if you plan to share with a coach or therapist.

How to Use This Workbook

  1. Pick your focus: Start with 1–2 tools that match your next step (e.g., Calm Start before a date, Date Debrief after).
  2. Complete in quiet: Treat each page like a 5–10 minute micro-session. Write short, honest notes—no perfection needed.
  3. Print or Save as PDF: Click Print Workbook (top). Choose your printer or “Save as PDF.” For a single tool, print that section only by selecting Pages in your print dialog.
  4. Weekly review: Revisit highlights, decide one tiny experiment for the week (e.g., one new venue, one boundary phrase).
  5. Privacy: Your notes live in your browser until printed/saved. For confidentiality, export as PDF and store securely.

Pro tip: If you’re coaching or sharing with a therapist, bring your PDFs of Date Debrief, Boundaries, and Work–Life Spillover—they make discussion efficient.

Active Listening Checklist

Use before/after a conversation or date. Check items you practiced; jot one thing to try next time.

Repair Attempts Worksheet

When there’s friction, use a repair line and log what happened.

Calm Start Script Bank

Grounding lines to enter social moments steady, not perfect.

Core Values Clarification

Circle a few, then commit to three. Let them guide choices.

Date Debrief Journal

Complete right after the date; look for repeat patterns.

Habit Tracker for Singles (30-Day)

Consistency > intensity. Check one box per day per habit.

Self
  • Sleep 7–8h
  • Move 20+ min
  • Journal 5 min
Social
  • Reach out to a friend
  • Visit 1 new venue
Dating
  • Send 1 thoughtful message
  • Plan/confirm an invite
Reflection
  • Weekly check-in note

Pre-Date Stress Regulation Plan

Name triggers; choose tools; define your quick reset.

Mental Health Check-In

Weekly pulse on energy, anxiety, support, and self-care.

Boundaries Builder

Define non-negotiables, flexible preferences, and your language.

Work–Life Spillover Journal

Notice how work stress shows up in dating and connection.

Financial Habits Self-Check

Reflect on money mindset and how it affects partnership.

Growth Timeline Mapping

See past growth, mark stuck points, plan the next milestones.

Social Health Check-In (Monthly)

Balance alone time and connection—on purpose.

Printing: Use the Print Workbook button at the top. To print just one tool, scroll to it, open your browser’s print dialog, and choose Pages → Selection or the relevant page range.